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And if he doesn’t want to get back together after a period of no contact…then at least you’ve already started the moving on process.He was nice and normal and stable and so, so sweet. You will keep pouring salt into the proverbial wound if you stay in touch with him. Even if he isn’t the guy for you, seeing him with another girl will be profoundly painful.But almost as if my love life was rigged with an alarm, the second I was happy and moving on, Mr. You need to spend time working on your relationship with yourself. You might even find you live So let’s say you don’t follow the sage advice in this article and you stay in touch with your ex … If you follow the no contact rule, you spare yourself from this sort of agony. Really, the no contact rule is about you and about re-connecting to yourself. As in, you work on yourself during this time and gain all the benefits of the no contact period.Breakups usually have a surface reason and a You didn’t break up because you had a big fight …you had a big fight because there was a lot happening beneath the surface causing the relationship to disintegrate, and this manifested as a big fight, or maybe several fights. But as I say, it isn’t a passive process, it’s active.
He just kind of plopped into my life and he was wonderful. You talk sometimes, hang out sometimes, but you’re in relationship no-mans-land. You get into a pattern of breaking it off, missing each other, getting together, feeling high on infatuation, realizing () that it isn’t working, breaking it off, and repeating the cycle. Think of yourself as Humpty Dumpty after his great fall. Chances are things were bad for a while, and chances are it had you feeling really bad. The only way you’ll know what he’s up to is if you don’t follow the no contact rule, or if you do, but you break the rule within the rule, which is not to check up on him on social media.
The point is, you will never extinguish your feelings for him if he’s right there lighting the candle every time it blows out.
You might not be ready to date at this moment, but you’ll be better able to see opportunities when your ex isn’t blocking your view.
He’s probably also hurting and he misses you and he wants to make sure you’re OK.
Engaging with him is the surest way to Where feelings are involved, it’s almost impossible to be objective.
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You may find you get excited about the prospect of dating someone new… and was devastated when my toxic partner broke up with me, although I could clearly see that it wasn’t working.