Tips on dating a person with a disability

But I’m learning to be better at communicating when I need space and how I’m doing, since I know my partners won’t judge me.They just want to know what’s going on with me and what I need, whether that be space or a hug.They have no idea how I’m doing or when I’ll rejoin them.When I’m feeling really depressed, or I’m so overwhelmed that I want space immediately, it can be hard to pause and find the energy and care to let my partners know how I’m feeling.And my disabilities do create limitations that affect my relationships.My sensory sensitivity, coupled with or exacerbated by my asexuality, sometimes makes me prickly when it comes to physical contact, including hugging and cuddling.

In school, work, family, and friendships, I feared making people disappointed and worked to avoid that.I learned that the extreme physical and mental exhaustion I felt after completing a few days of “average” activities was not merely the consequence of my introversion, but a function of sensory overload, and that there were things I could do to cope with this sensitivity.At the same time, I began dating two wonderful people who are still my partners.Over the past three years, I’ve learned a lot about the ways in which my brain and body work.I’ve learned that the intense sadness and stress I dealt with in high school did, in fact, qualify as depression and anxiety, and that I could and should seek support for those things.

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