Internet dating messages

Dig in to your experience, what you’re interested in and passionate about, and be generous with that. Your job is to establish rapport and common ground, not swing your big …brain.

For example, after you’ve gotten the green light to meet up, be with a message like, “I'm free Friday, or if early next week is more convenient Tuesday works too.”You want a firm commitment to a specific time (for dealing with flakes) but to let her know she’s the ultimate decider.

For a location it’s gallant to ask what part of town they're in and then choose a cool spot that is more convenient for them if you’re in a different part – again, a familiar spot or familiar part of town helps put your date at ease. As it turns out, one in three people who’ve matched and messaged with someone on a site never actually meet them face to face. Even if she hasn’t heard it before, she’ll know and respect you less.

Contrary to most of the advice out there, there is no set rule about when to suggest a meeting. Would you apply to a job with the exact same cover letter and resume? You develop a framework and modify to fit your particular goal. Here are some general guidelines for upping your message game.

Examine their bio and images for something specific that you have in common. Second, it invites your match to share something about themselves.

It can be anything, but it needs to be something you share – even just an interest in travel. Third, it gives you a topic to begin and expand into a real conversation. If their pictures or bio don’t give you anything to work with, move on. After you’ve suggested a shared interest, be generous with your personality, opinions, and passions. Psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman has written about this in his excellent book Humor signals both intelligence and the ability to win others over, both traits highly desirable in a potential heavy petting partner.

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  1. Meetings in bars happened from time to time, but were considered somewhat dangerous—at least by the women. Colleges became co-ed, and young people were thrown together informally, making it easy to meet someone of the opposite sex. Instead of couples marrying in their early twenties, they married later.